Catching up with myself and Reflecting

June 12th, 2026

As I enter another big transition I am trying to reflect on the last big jump I took and see what I can learn from myself. I often find I solve my problems best when I talk to a past version of myself, regardless if I was filled with worries and doubts or bolstered and confidant. Below are some snippets from a journal entry in August of last year.

August 17th, 2025

Since finishing my Masters I have scurried off to a farm in Wales to spend a few weeks trying to decompress. I am enjoying these quiet slow days immensely and am defiantly not in any rush to return to London. I do not think I have registered in any way however that it has ended. It might be the fact I am still in London, but much more likely it’s because I have never been out of school and my body is holding onto the security and stability of being in an institution and the feeling it provides of accomplishment and satisfaction with my days. Although as summer winds down and the trees begin to sound like their leave are made of paper, I am excited for this new much less structured period of my life to begin.

Living abroad has compounded my yearning for a feeling of home. Moving to London has been an incredible space for a ‘start fresh’ with no exceptions from people about who I was, what I liked, and what my capacity was. Although, no matter how much I love it here and it has become my home, I miss the peace and quiet of the Pacific Ocean and the mountains of BC. I miss the loons at sunset, salmon running up the river, the Douglas Fir trees so big you can’t fit your arms around them and so tall they make the buildings look like toys. I miss the smell of wet moss in the forest.

So, after months of debating with myself I have decided to move back for at least a year. This decision comes with many promises to myself as choosing to leave the hub of the art world when I am just getting started has been an incredibly difficult decision to make and one many people may not totally understand. The biggest reason for the transition is that I miss my people. Life is short and the world is busy; beyond money or success, I prize the love in my life. I feel so lucky to have people in my life I have watched grow up and missing a year of that has been excruciating. There is no opportunity that I would have in London to make staying here worth it at this time. However leaving London also means I will be leaving this new home I have created, one which has taken a lot of time, and given me space to grow as a person, one with my new family and friends around me. I hate to be the person that is leaving and I feel no matter if I stay or go I will be leaving something behind that is precious and I love.

My life has rarely felt it hasn’t been in transition, although I guess that is what it is for, to consider, experience, shift, and learn as much as possible. A lot of this past year has been spent finding answers to very complicated questions, ones based much more of my own opinion then anyone else’s. I have been contemplating what aspects of life I feel are the most important and how I might feel accomplished as a human in my own eyes.

June 12th, 2026

There is a lot I feel I have lost by leaving London, but so much more I have gained by coming home. I still miss the museums, people, theatre, resources, peers, mentors, and artistic opportunities. However, I am consoled by the smell of dry moss and warm blackberry leaves filling the forests. I feel my magic come to life here (BC), my body can find quiet and my mind peace.